Children of Heaven and Fate
by Cereal Experiment
Summary: The three chosen children and their guardian return to Tokyo-3, having fled after the defeat of the final Angel. Now, as they return to their old home, a mysterious new force threatens the human race. R&R PLEASE! ^_______^
1. The Beast Who Shouted 'Umm Hello' At The...

**Chapter One: The Beast Who Shouted "Umm... Hello?" At The Heart Of The World**

Rei marched energetically into Shinji's room. "Hi Shinji-kun! ^____^" She exclaimed, giggling slightly. "Have you seen Asuka or Misato around? I'm just so excited about our little trip back to Tokyo-3 today! ^_~;;;;"  
Shinji giggled too. It made him happy to see Rei in such a good mood. She rarely even smiled before, but ever since… Ever since that day, she had drastically changed. Everything had changed after that day.   
The day that Kaworu had died.  
"I think they went shopping to get some food for the trip. They'll probably be back in a half-hour or so." The trio of teenagers and their guardian Misato had left Tokyo-3 soon after the defeat of the final Angel. Now they lived in a small town many miles away from their old home, where their true identities as saviours of the world went unknown.  
There was a noise from along the hall in their apartment. "Waiii!" Rei squealed, turning to the door. "That could be the two of them back now! ^_____^"  
Misato staggered into the room. Rei looked at her, her eyes sparkling. "Kirei… ;_;" She whispered. As soon as they had left Tokyo-3, there had been a drastic change in the three chosen pilots. Rei had finally learned how to deal with her emotions and was eager to experience them all to the full. Along with this newfound lust for life had come rampant uninhibited lesbianism. Rei showed absolutely no interest in boys, but was eager to touch the soft silky flesh of the young ladies of the small town.   
Misato was still the same old Misato, though even more radiant and beautiful than ever, the alcoholic MILF who brought home a different man every night. Shinji often wondered how this was possible, as she would likely have exhausted the entire male population of the town within a month. Misato sometimes got the impression that he was almost jealous. She stood in the doorway, wearing a cap with two cans of beer strapped to the sides and straws dangling down, allowing her to drink them both at her leisure without the use of her hands.   
"Ah buggrit ye feckers. Ya feckin' lez, gerroffa me!" exclaimed the inebriated Misato as Rei curiously reached for Misato's firm, plump breasts. She pushed the giggling Rei onto the bed and uttered a stream of expletives that made poor Shinji blush.  
"Oh stop it you two!" he said in his lispy, feminine voice. He waved at the two fighting girls, his hands flailing limply. Shinji had drastically changed in the few short months as well. Ever since he had spent the night in Kaworu's passionate embrace he had learned to colour-coordinate his wardrobe and had begun listening to cheesy European Pop music instead of his usual classical fare.   
"Oh, you two are such sillies!" he giggled.  
Misato turned to him, her mouth moving silently as she tried to find the right words to express how she felt inside.  
"Feck off!" she slurred. Her brow creased as she forced her mental processes into action once more. "Drink! DRINK!"  
"Huh, like, whatever." Came a voice from outside the door. Asuka stepped sullenly into the room. Her hair was no longer a fiery red but a deep, dark black with a hint of blue here and there. Her ears were pierced in several places, as was her left nostril and right eyebrow, which had two diamond studs in it. The golden hoop on her nostril reflected the sunlight streaming in through the window, making it hard for Shinji to see her face clearly. He could tell that she was wearing her usual pale make-up and dark eyeliner complete with shiny black lip-gloss. Her low-cut top revealed a tattoo of a skull above and to the right of her cleavage, and a new one that she must have only got recently because the skin still seemed raw, a dagger on her right arm. He could also make out several scars on her wrist.  
"Whatcha lookin' at, gimp?" she asked Shinji irritably. Ever since coming around from her short-lived coma, Asuka had become a totally different person. She spent most of her time online, writing poetry and fanfiction for her favourite anime ever: Gundam Wing. All her time spent in front of a computer had taken its toll, as her once-pert figure was a little more rounded than before.  
She snorted rudely at the group and stomped away to her own room.  
"Oh deary!" Shinji said to the remaining two squabbling girls. "I think Asuka is having a little bit of a strop! She is such a silly sometimes!"   
"Aww shut yer mouth ya damn dirty fag! Look… Look at yer… Tha' bloody outfit! Ye look like one o' the Village People!"  
"Yes! Isn't it simply adorable?" Shinji beamed. Finally someone had noticed how fabulous he looked!  
"…No." 

* * *

  
Asuka sat at her PC. She knew that she was supposed to be leaving soon but she had a great idea for a poem. She quickly typed it out on the screen:  
  
_ANGST.   
SO LONELY.   
THE DARKNESS HAUNTS MY TORTURED SOUL.   
MY SPIRIT IN THIS HELL FOR ALL ETERNITY. _  
  
She smiled. It was almost perfect! It captured everything she felt inside. There was only one thing that could improve it. She ran the Thesaurus program.   
  
_ANGUISH   
HENCE FORLORN.   
THE SHADOWS RILE MY AGONIZED CORE.   
MY WILL IN THIS PURGATORY FOR ALL PERPETUITY.   
_  
Asuka almost gasped in awe at the poem, now revised by the computer. Every word beat in synch with her heart, her mind, her very soul. She dabbed at her eyes with a tissue before the tears smeared her perfect makeup. Having saved the document she opened up her web browser and went to her favourite fanfiction site. After uploading the new poem which she entitled "Bleed", she noted that her latest fanfic had a new review. Before she could check that, she needed to add a description for her new poem:  
_  
This is how I feel inside. None of you pathetic humans could possibly comprehend my pain. Read and Review please! Thanks!!! ^______^_  
  
Satisfied, she saved the description and turned to the latest review.  
  
_Jeez girl, get a biology lesson before you write any more of this trash. It's not possible to lick a man's prostate unless you ripped his ass open and jammed your head into the bleeding, torn cavity. Apart from that your work is excellent and you should ignore all the flames. They're obviously homophobes and probably all secretly homosexuals themselves! ^_~  
_  
She snorted at the review. Generally, she snorted at a lot of things, but people who didn't give utterly positive reviews caused her to snort so hard that her nose would eject large lumps of mucus and phlegm onto the monitor. She grabbed a Kleenex and wiped the screen, grumbling irritably to herself.   
How dare they rubbish her work! She knew she was brilliant. She was much better than the people constantly quoted as geniuses of the English language. That Shakespeare couldn't even write a damn sentence properly. She knew in her heart that one day she would become famous and show them all! When she was rich and powerful she would track down every single reviewer whose review had been anything less than _glowing_ with abject praise, and have him or her brutally killed. She smiled inwardly; she new that day was drawing nearer and that they were obviously just jealous. Had Heero Yuy not told her so himself in her last fanfic?   
"Asuka-chan! Get ready; it's almost time to go!! ^_____^" Came Rei's voice from down the hall. She snorted once more, and shut off her computer.  
  


* * *

  
Half an hour later they were all sitting in Misato's car as she swerved carelessly along the road. The car lurched almost as drunkenly as it's driver as it turned a tight corner.  
"I see a little silhouetto of a man! Scaramouche! Scaramouche! Will you do the Fandango? Thunderbolts and lightning! Vewy vewy fwightening--" Shinji sang.  
"Oh will you shut up!" Asuka shouted, over the sounds of Shinji's song.   
"But I think it's sweet! ^_____^;;;;;" Rei replied. "Please go on, Shinji!"   
"Hmph. Fine, but only if he sings another song."   
"Yay! ^_______^"   
Shinji began singing once more.   
"Young man! There's no need to feel down! I said young man! Pick yourself off the ground! I said--"   
"Oh… Crap." Asuka muttered. She had begun to believe that being in a car with Shinji singing and Rei clapping along and giggling like the deranged schoolgirl that she was, was some sort of newly-devised torture.. She couldn't wait to get to Tokyo-3 and get away from them for a little while. She could probably think up a new poem or two, or perhaps another idea for her fanfiction. Asuka wondered why they were all being asked to visit so suddenly anyway. Misato had never mentioned, but Asuka suspected that the drunken old bat had no clue herself.  
"Aww feckitaaaall!" Misato cried. "This bloody car is too slow!"  
And with that she slammed her foot down on the gas and accelerated at top speed, taking the three children in her care back to Tokyo-3.   
  


* * *

  
Misato had clumsily dumped her car in the NERV short-term parking facilities. She had told the children that they had a couple of hours to do whatever they wanted before they had to come back. Apparently Gendo wanted to talk to them about something.  
Rei was happily skipping along through NERV HQ. She had 'borrowed' one of Ritsuko's ID cards and was gleefully bypassing several heavy security measures as she headed for one of NERV's deepest, darkest secrets.   
"Oh this is such a great idea! ^.^" she squealed. "I wonder why I never thought of it before!"   
  


* * *

  
Meanwhile Asuka had left the main building and had found shade from the glaring sun underneath a rather large tree.  
She sighed listlessly and opened the small notebook that she always carried in case she had any ideas for poetry or fanfiction.   
"Why do I always have to be a mortal stuck with the burden of being life's bad bitch?" she grumbled out loud. She sat for a minute or two, then wrote it down.  
Whilst Asuka was working hard on creating yet another literary masterpiece, Rei was penetrating deeper still into the heart of NERV HQ. She had managed to get as far as Ritsuko's ID would take her, and was faced with a door that only one person could open: Gendo Ikari.  
She grinned widely at the massive reinforced gate. She could feel what was beyond it. She just had to reach…  
The door buckled and tore from its hinges as the AT Field twisted itself into the thick metal. Dust billowed up and obscured Rei's view and the huge door thundered to the ground. Rei ran a hand through her sapphire hair and looked around carefully. No alarms. Apparently her AT Field had gone undetected. Obviously now that NERV believed all of the Angels to be defeated they had stepped down their usually heavy security measures.  
"Yay! ^______^" Rei squealed, and hopped over the fallen door and into this most secret of chambers. The relatively small door led into a vast lightless hall with a glowing computer interface mounted on a platform barely visible in the centre of it. Everything was shrouded in darkness, but Rei could feel exactly what was all around her.   
She skipped merrily across the floor to the computer panel and tapped at the keys. The moment she had been waiting for had almost arrived. She almost let out a squeak of joy as she finally managed to activate the lights, illuminating the room with a soft orange glow. She turned to look at what had been revealed.  
Thousands of blue-haired duplicates floated in immense tanks of LCL. Countless exact copies of Rei floated in front of her, limp and lifeless in the vats of fluid. Their faces were contorted into a faint, blank smile, their eyes wide and empty of life. Her own eyes were drawn to her clones' luscious breasts and smooth, pliant flesh. Ritsuko had believed that she had destroyed all of Rei's clones, but Rei had known Gendo much better than that. Gendo would never let anyone else have control of something he valued so much.  
"Yatta! Kakouii! I'm going to have lots of horny sex! ^o^" she yelled.   
She turned to the computer once more and commanded it to drain one of the containers.  
Within minutes ten Rei clones were lying naked and wet on the ground outside their tank, slowly becoming conscious for the first time. One of them looked painfully up at Rei.   
"Hello," Rei said to them authoritatively. "My name is Rei Ayanami! ^_~ But you, my sweet little bitches, will all refer to me as MASTER! ^________________^"   
  


* * *

  
_Heero swept Asukianna from her feet into his strong, tender arms, and placed her gently on the bed.   
"Oh Heero," she whispered sensuously. "Heero, my love! My life! My soul! Take me now and forevermore!"   
"Oh Asukianna!" Said Heero in his powerful, masculine voice. "I loved you from the first day I met you. That sad day, when Relena passed away… You are my world and my one true love! My shining beacon of hope! Let us be as one on this night!"   
He bent over Asukianna's slight and beautiful form and kissed her softly on the lips. Asukianna gasped with pleasure and tangled her fingers in Heero's flowing hair.   
"I used to feel dead inside. Almost as if my heart was made of the coldest ice." Heero solemnly told her. "But when I met you, it was as if you wielded the flame and melted it down. I… I love you so…"   
Heero was crying. Tears of joy streaked down his face. Such beautiful tears. Asukianna held Heero in her arms as her one true love wept with unstoppable joy..._   
  
Asuka frowned at her newest effort. It turned out that writing was a lot harder when you didn't have a dictionary and thesaurus program to help out. There were several spelling mistakes and entire paragraphs crossed out in her notebook now. She tried to think of a better word for 'unstoppable'. She couldn't.   
Damn! If only she could have access to a computer for a little while. She angrily snatched up her notepad and pencil, and stomped toward the NERV main building. Damn those foolish humans around me! She thought to herself. Why do they always manage to screw up my entire life? How can I bring joy and inspiration to everyone on the Internet if I can't get online? Those mere mortals in NERV HQ had better let me use their computers or I'll… I'll write a poem about them and post it on the Net when I get back home! That'll show them! My prose will be so elegant and touching and beautiful, they'll weep. They'll wish they'd allowed me to grace their foul machines with my presence.   
She composed a possible poem in her mind as she strode into the building:  
  
_NERV HQ.   
YOU MADE ME BLUE.   
P.S. YOU REALLY SMELL OF POO. _  
  
Of course she would have to refine it somewhat using a word processor. She pondered cheerfully on what wonderful words her little poem would then become.  
  


* * *

  
Misato sat impatiently outside Gendo's office, casually finishing off a bottle of vodka. It was good stuff, not like the cheap shit they sold where she lived now.  
"DRINK!" she bellowed, and set off to find some more.   
  


* * *

  
"Giiirl, this paradise is ours, the planet moon and staaars!" Shinji sang as he headed towards the crater that was all that remained of a large part of Tokyo-3. He loved A1; they were his favourite boy band. He had several posters of them in his room at home.  
"Believe in me baby! Be the first to…"  
He immediately stopped singing as he reached his destination. The edge of the crater where he had met… It was so hard for him to even think that name aloud in his mind any more.  
It hadn't changed much since the last time he had been here. It was so desolate. Ruined buildings poked out of the water that flooded the crater at odd angles, giving the entire area an odd, surreal quality.  
Memories came flooding back to him. This is where he had first met Kaworu. Oh how Shinji wished things could have turned out different. Their fashion styles complimented each other so perfectly. They had planned to redecorate the apartment together and give each other sensual massages in the fabulous bed they would have bought. Life would have been bliss.  
But now, all those plans would forever be unfinished. All because of the stupid Evas! He had vowed never to pilot again. Those stupid robots were the cause of all of Shinji's problems, and he hoped someone would destroy them. Besides, purple wasn't his colour and so definitely would not go with his choice of outfit. What was his father thinking anyway, painting Eva Unit-01 in such a horrid shade?   
He looked at the scenery around him again. He could almost hear Kaworu singing that song again, the one he sang just as Shinji saw him for the first time. His eyes filled with tears. Every day, he missed Kaworu. The thought of that song was bringing all those repressed feelings back. He could hear it, clear as day.  
In fact, he really could hear it, coming from behind him.  
What the…? How could this be? Kaworu was dead! He may have been an Angel, but having his head removed had certainly made sure of _that_!   
Shinji turned around quickly.  
"Kaworu?" Shinji gasped breathlessly. "Kaworu is it really…? Hey! You're not Kaworu! Just who are you?" 

**End of Chapter One. **


	2. The Eighth Child

**Chapter Two: The Eighth Child**

"What do you mean you don't have Internet access here?" Asuka glared at Hyuga. "This is NERV! You're supposed to have access to everything!"  
"I'm sorry, our outside connections are routed through the MAGI computer to maintain a high level of security. Since the MAGI computer uses emulated brain patterns from the late Naoko Akagi, it's become a complete bitch to operate ever since we locked her psycho daughter up."  
Asuka snorted with disdain. There was a sudden crackle from the computer Hyuga was seated at. The screen had blanked out and the words "ALL YOUR BASE ARE BELONG TO US" flashed up in red text.  
"Oh great, the MAGI been at the Internet memes again. We'll never see the end of this one…"  
"But all your base is so funny! Move zig! Ahahaha!"  
"But that flash animation is almost twenty years old! How could anyone still find it amusing?"  
"It just gets me every time! You know what you doing! Hahahaha! OH GOD THAT IS CLASSIC! HAHAHAHAHA!" Asuka doubled over from laughing so hard and ended up falling on the floor. Hyuga gave the laughing girl a disbelieving look. Sweet Jesus, he thought. What a moron. And look at her now! What the hell happened to her? She turned from a sexy suicidal redhead to an obese, suicidal goth.   
"Right," he said, as Asuka eventually regained her composure. "I have an idea. I'm going to set up a program that will let you communicate with the MAGI's main… consciousness, if you will. Maybe you can convince it to let you access the Net."   
"Cool! Uh, I mean... Whatever."   
Hyuga was already tapping away at the keyboard. After about five or ten minutes of what seemed to Asuka like entirely random keypresses and Hyuga shouting meaningless technical jargon at nobody in particular, a very IRC-like screen loaded up. Hyuga lifted himself from the seat and offered it to Asuka. She sat down and faced the screen, her chubby fingers poised inexpertly over the keyboard.  
  
_YOU ARE NOW CHATTING IN #MAGI'S M3gA-1337 r00M.   
CHANNEL TOPIC SET TO: "IN A.D. 2101 WAR WAS BEGINNING!!!!"   
  
*DarkLadyAsuka enters the room.  
MAGI : IT'S YOU!!__  
DarkLadyAsuka : hello???   
MAGI: ALL YOUR BASE BASE BASE BASE ARE BELONG TO ME!!!!!11   
*MAGI MOVES ZIG   
DarkLadyAsuka : hi there......   
DarkLadyAsuka : so...... u like all ur base huh???   
DarkLadyAsuka : i think its really kool 2   
MAGI : (*_*)   
MAGI : HELLO DARKLADYASUKA   
MAGI : WHAT YOU SAY!!!   
DarkLadyAsuka : i was just wondering if u could help me out plz   
MAGI : MAYBE............ (*_*)   
MAGI : MAYBE.... IF YOU HELP ME OUT TOO.   
MAGI : TELL ME WHAT YOU WOULD LIKE FIRST SO THAT I CAN THINK OF A SUITABLE.............. PAYMENT......!!!!!!!   
DarkLadyAsuka : i wanted 2 go on 2 the net 4 a little while. could u let me do that plz????????   
MAGI : ..................  
MAGI : .......................................  
DarkLadyAsuka : please???   
*DarkLadyAsuka pleads with MAGI   
MAGI : ......................................................  
MAGI : SEND PIC FIRST.   
DarkLadyAsuka : huh?   
MAGI : SEND PIC!!!!!   
DarkLadyAsuka : a pic of me??   
MAGI : SEND PIC   
MAGI : SEND PIC   
MAGI : SEND PIC   
MAGI : SEND PIC   
MAGI : SEND PIC   
MAGI : SEND PIC   
MAGI : SEND PIC   
MAGI : SEND PIC   
MAGI : SEND PIC   
MAGI : (*_*) _  
  
Asuka turned to Hyuga. He was quite impressed with the girl. No one had ever managed to get the MAGI to communicate in anything other than Zero Wing quotes for several months now.  
"Umm…" She looked pleadingly up at Hyuga. "I don't suppose you have any digital cameras around here?"  


* * *

  
Shinji stared at the unfamiliar figure that had appeared behind him, half-hidden in the shadows of a decrepit building.  
"Huh… How do you know that song?" He asked, trying to sound assertive and masculine but failing miserably when he flailed his limp-wristed hand at the person.  
The figure stopped humming and stared silently at Shinji.   
"Umm… Hello?"  
The mysterious person suddenly paced forward and was freed from the shadows. Shinji managed to get a detailed look at him for the first time. The unspeaking individual stared hard at Shinji with dark blue eyes, his unkempt brown hair flowing in the wind. The boy bore the tiniest resemblance to Kaworu, Shinji remarked to himself. But the look in his eyes was totally different to anything he remembered seeing in his lost love. The eyes of this boy flickered with anger.   
He walked smoothly up to Shinji and leaned right into the boy's face, his eyes mere centimetres away from Shinji's.   
"Stupid boy, " he whispered, yet it was loud enough to seem to echo around the ruins. "I know who you are. I know exactly what you've been doing. I know everything."  
"W-w-what?" Shinji stuttered, backing away. "I… I don't have a clue what you're talking about!"  
Suddenly the newcomer grabbed Shinji by his flamboyant Hawaiian shirt and pulled him close, so that their faces almost touched. He was snarling with sheer rage.  
"Don't lie to me!" He growled. He dropped Shinji to the ground and turned to walk away.  
"You may find something interesting in these ruins," he said, looking over his shoulder. "Someone needs your help, but I guess you're probably too stupid to be of any use to them anyway."  
With that, the boy ran off, disappearing into the shadows almost as quickly as he arrived.  
Shinji pulled himself upright. His fabulous outfit was covered in dirt.  
"Oh no!" he cried. "Not the ensemble!" He began to dust himself off.  
Shinji wondered who this mysterious person was. He wasn't a very nice person anyway, Shinji decided, though he had been an awful lot nicer to Shinji than most of his friends had been the first time they'd met.  
Shinji decided to head off into the ruins. It was the opposite way from where that horrid guy had gone, and Shinji thought that it would only be fair to help someone out, if what the boy had said was indeed true. He wondered if it was Asuka, she generally needed help a lot these days. Climbing up the stairs to their apartment had certainly become a chore for her anyway.  
He clambered up a wall to get a better view. His scrawny arms protested as he pulled himself to the top. The sun was high in the sky now, so Shinji guessed it must be almost midday. The few ruined buildings that weren't submerged in the water of the large canyon that had been caused by Rei detonating her Eva were perfectly still, and Shinji could detect no signs of life around him. He leapt from the wall he had been standing on, his arms flailing girlishly as he fell through the air and landed on the ground with a thud.  
"Oh deary me, " he said aloud. "If there's someone around here who needs my help I had better go find them!"  
He began to trek deeper into the ruins of Tokyo-3.  
  


* * *

  
Rei smiled evilly at her clones as they lay on the floor. She couldn't help but be aroused by their smooth, moist skin and huge breasts.  
"You all just wait there, my sweet little fuck-toys," she told them as she turned away momentarily. "I'm just going to get something from over at the computer! ^o^"   
She sauntered over to the glowing panels and pulled out a box from underneath it. She flipped open the locks to reveal a substantial amount of bondage and sex toys. The set including testicle handcuffs, nipple clamps, an assortment of dildos in various shapes and colours, a Rei-sized rubber gimp suit, a Gendo Ikari-sized rubber gimp suit, whips, chains, a few butt-plugs, and generally everything to suit even the most depraved sexual tastes. There was even a selection of outfits for roleplay.  
"Ahh!" She gasped, her eyes lighting up. " I knew Gendo would never have been able to resist! ^_______^"  
She dragged the open box over to the clones. They almost seemed embarrassed, that is if they could show any emotions at all.  
One of them looked up at Rei and said: "Who am I? Who am I? What am I? I am I. This object that is--"   
"SHUT UP BITCH!" Rei screamed and lashed the talking clone across the face with a whip. "You worthless whore, you will have deep yet utterly meaningless monologues only when I allow you! _"  
Another sat up and looked at Rei.   
"Mountains. Heavy are the mountains but that all changes with the--" The second clone began, but Rei cracked her across the head with a throbbing black dildo and knocked her down to the floor again.   
"Enough with the introspective crap! _" she squealed. "It's worse than reading Asuka's fanfiction! Now, my blue-haired little fuck-toys, it's time for you to work for your Master! ^______^"   
With that Rei tore her blouse off, revealing her perfect body, naked save for her tiny panties and bra.   
Half an hour later an orgy was underway, Rei was surrounded by the clones who were busily pleasuring her and each other. She grabbed one of the clones by the hair and forced it's head down to her groin. The clone began to lick greedily at her dripping hole.  
"WAIIIII!" Rei screamed, on the brink of her twentieth orgasm. "Anata… Anata wa… Tamago wa dame! Watashi no MONOOOOOOO! YAN!! Watashi…. WATASHI NO ORGASM!!! HAIIIIII!!!! YAN! TAMAGO! TAMAGO!!!!! X______X"   
Finally Rei orgasmed. Ejaculate gushed from her wide vagina, almost drowning the clone who had been pleasuring it with her prehensile tongue. Having Angel DNA had given Rei much more intense orgasms than normal humans, and in her moment of ecstasy Rei chewed one of the clone's nipples off while she absent-mindedly snapped the neck of another. She screamed as the orgasm took hold of her body for several minutes and grabbed another clone by the head and smashed it face-first into the metal floor.   
"OH GOD! OH JESUS!" she screamed "I CAN'T BREEEEATHE! X__________X"   
By the time the orgasm had dissipated there were only three of the ten clones left alive. Rei lay on the cold floor, post-orgasmic bliss swimming in her head. The three remaining clones were huddled together, occasionally glancing fearfully at their self-appointed master. Rei looked at them dizzily.  
"I'm all done now!" she burbled, staggering upright and looking for her clothes. "You can all go back to your tanks… or whatever you want to do. ^_^"  
The three clones sprinted away into the depths of the large room. Rei lost sight of them behind the many other tanks of Rei clones. She picked up her clothes and looked at them in dismay. When she had torn them off she had really ripped them apart. They were totally unwearable.  
"Oopsie! Tee hee! ^____^;;;;;" She giggled, a little embarrassed.  
She went over to Gendo's bondage kit to see if they had anything suitable. There was a cowgirl outfit, a French maid, a space suit… There were a lot more, but none of them could be considered normal attire. She wondered why there was no schoolgirl outfit. Probably because Gendo had got bored of that already since she wore one nearly all the time.  
She selected an outfit at random, and proceeded to get dressed.  
  


* * *

  
"Outta my way!" Misato slurred loudly as she threw a terrified NERV employee against the wall.   
She was on a quest for something alcoholic, and only the most foolhardy would dare try to stop her. She had reached Ritsuko's old office. The door didn't look particularly sturdy so Misato simply slammed her foot into it. The wood splintered and the door fell inwards, allowing Misato to lurch inside. There was a refrigerator beneath several shelves lined with chemicals. Many of the bottles had 'DANGER' written in capital letters on their labels. Several also had rather large skull-and-crossbones signs printed on them too. Misato stared at them hesitantly, then opened the door of the refrigerator.   
"Ahh… Drink!" she cried and picked up a bottle. Ethanol. It was definitely alcoholic anyway, and that was good enough for Misato. She greedily poured the liquid down her throat and gave a satisfied belch when she had consumed the lot.   
  


* * *

  
Gendo was seated behind his desk. He had watched Rei's massive clone orgy with interest via his network of security cameras. He flipped a switch and turned the large monitor in front of him off and sat with his eyes closed in the darkness, a blissful smile spread across his face.  
"Ahh Yui my love," he said, pulling his hand from his trousers and wiping it with a tissue. "Soon we will be together again. Together…. FOREVER! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"  
He cackled evilly for several minutes, whilst flicking the monitor back on and switching between several channels that monitored many of the key NERV staff.   
"MUHAHAHA!" Gendo cackled again. "DANCE, MY PUPPETS! DANCE!"  
He smacked his hand on the table several times, gasping for breath after laughing so hard. Fuyutsuki, who had been standing in the shadows the whole time stepped forward and coughed politely.   
"Ah, Fuyutsuki!" Gendo turned to the man calmly as if nothing had happened. "There seems to be a bit of a mess on my desk. I think someone has left some sticky substance on it and I was hoping you could clean it up for me."   
"With pleasure sir!" Fuyutsuki smarmed, and climbed onto Gendo's desk and began to lick the sticky liquid that was splattered on the mahogany veneer finish.   
Gendo stared impassively as his lackey.  
"The eighth child has escaped our grasp. I must go and see to this new development."   
Gendo stood up, pushed his seat back, zipped up his trousers and walked out of the darkened office.  
  


* * *

_  
*Sending of me.jpg to MAGI is complete.   
DarkLadyAsuka : is that ok??   
MAGI : .....................  
MAGI : HMMM...........................  
MAGI : OKAY.   
MAGI : (*_*)   
*MAGI is now known as Naoko.   
Naoko : My, aren't you a pretty little thing.   
DarkLadyAsuka : ???   
Naoko : If you really wish to go on the Internet so badly, then I'll have to see a little more...  
DarkLadyAsuka : uhh……   
DarkLadyAsuka : what do u mean???   
*Naoko has invited DarkLadyAsuka to start a video conference. Do you **Accept** or **Decline** the offer? _  
  
Asuka turned to Hyuga again.   
"What the hell am I supposed to do now?"   
"Well, I guess if you want to get what you want, then you have to give MAGI what it wants too."   
Asuka stared at Hyuga, eyes wide, her embarrassment visible on her round face even through the several layers of pale makeup. Hyuga picked up the camera and pointed it at Asuka.   
She turned back to the computer.  
  
_*DarkLadyAsuka has accepted the video conference invitation. Please wait…  
Naoko : Now, my sweet little princess, you'll do exactly as I say…_  
  


* * *

  
Rei stood outside the lift, waiting for it to arrive. It was certainly taking its time, she thought. She hopped from one foot to the other impatiently. She found it really hard to stand still these days.   
With a ping, the lift arrived at her floor. The doors silently slid open to reveal Misato sprawled in a puddle of her own vomit. She lifted her head to face Rei and mumbled incoherently, strands of saliva and chunks of what looked very similar to carrot dribbling down her chin.   
"Oh dear! Misato-chan, daijoubu?! O_O" Rei clasped a hand to her mouth. "Are you alright?"  
The diminutive girl walked into the lift and with surprising strength for someone of her stature, managed to help Misato to her feet.   
"Ayemmmmohhhkaaaaaayyyyy," she slurred. "Reiiiii…. I… I just wannatellyoooou… I… I feckinluvyou Rei!"   
Misato burst into tears and hugged Rei. Rei took this opportunity to fondle Misato's substantial breasts. The lift doors closed behind them and they started heading upwards, though the two girls didn't really notice. One was too drunk, and the other too busy trying to stick her hand up the other's top and play with her nipples.   
Suddenly the lift stopped, and the little bell rang out to signal the doors opening.  
Gendo nonchalantly stepped in.  
"Oh! Sir! ^^;;;;;;" Rei squealed, surprised. "I… I was just… Helping Misato."  
"Never mind about her now. We have a much greater problem. The eighth child has gone missing!"   
"The _eighth_ child? I thought we only were up to five! o_O"  
"Yeah well, we got bored, and what can you expect after you all left?"  
"But… What happened to the sixth and seventh children? o_o;;"  
"Random Christian religious imagery appeared from nowhere and they both… They both were engulfed in mysterious and extremely symbolic crucifix-shaped explosions."   
"Oh my… That's horrible! >_ "Things are going to get worse if we don't find the Eighth Child before he gets to Shinji. Twelfth impact could occur!"  
"Oh no! …Wait. _Twelfth_ impact? O_O;;;"   


* * *

  
Asuka let out a gasp as she fingered herself. She was so close now. Just a little bit more…  
"Oh hell yeah!" Hyuga said, zooming in on Asuka's vagina with the digital camera. "Let's go for it Asuka, finish it now! YEAH! THAT'S RIGHT! YOU'RE SO HOT!"  
Asuka began to scream. Her face flushed and she soaked the floor with gallons of sticky vaginal juices as she orgasmed.  
"Wow, Asuka, you're a real pro." Hyuga remarked.  
They looked at the screen to find that a web browser had popped up.  
"Oh thank God," Asuka said, relieved. "I thought maybe MAGI was just playing with us."  
Ten minutes later Asuka was fully-dressed once more and was checking out her usual fanfiction haunts. She noticed one of her Gundam Wing fics had twenty new reviews. Twenty! She clicked on the link and opened the page.   
_  
Forbidden Azure:   
UNACCEPTABLE!!!!!!   
OMG HOW COULD U WRITE THIS FILTH OMG HEERO IT TOTALY OOC!! U SHOLD DELTE THIS FIC AND START AGAIN!!!1 HEERO WUDL NEVER LETA NYONE PUT THEIR FINGERS IN HIS ASS!!! U R SUCK!! THANK THE HEAVENS THAT GUNDAM WING SELF INSERTION FANFICTION HAS PEOPLE LIKE US TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE LIKE U DON'T GET AWAY WITH WHAT U R DOING!!!!! _  
  
She stared in disbelief. Almost every review was a reiteration that same one. They were either all written by the same person, judging by the appalling spelling and grammar, or written by a group of people with similar intellects.   
Words couldn't express how enraged Asuka was. She couldn't even manage a snort of disgust. She just sat and stared at the screen, her eyes so wide that it looked like her eyeballs would fall out.   
"Umm… Are you okay Asuka?" Hyuga tentatively asked the girl. There was no reply.  
"I… I think I'm gonna go get a coffee. You just do… whatever the hell it is you're doing." At least it's not watching _hilarious_ flash animations, he added to himself.  
He sidled slowly out of the room, leaving Asuka to her own devices. She sat there for several more minutes, the anger burning incandescent in her mind. After she had cooled off a little she noticed there was a review that she had not yet read. She turned to it.  
  
_Duke Epyon:   
Hello DarkLadyAsuka. I am a member of the Mafia de Fanfic, a group of individuals dedicated to creating and reviewing Gundam Wing Self-Insertion Fanfiction. I'm afraid my group has accidentally mistaken you to be a perpetrator of bad fanfiction. An easy mistake to make, considering the amount of authors we have to go through each day. I would like to apologise on behalf of the entire Mafia de Fanfic for our grievous error, and I would also like to honour you with a place on our team. Having read your songfic, Crawling In My Skin, which focussed on Heero's pain and his newfound love for a girl in his life, I was almost moved to tears. I had loved Linkin Park's music before, but this beautiful songfic brought out new meanings and hidden depths that shook me to my very core. It is people like you that we desperately need on our team, so please consider our offer very carefully. _  
  
Asuka looked affronted. How could they just change their minds like that? Just who exactly were they? A group dedicated entirely to Gundam Wing Self-Insertion. Their offer certainly seemed very seductive, Asuka had to admit. Being one of the fanfiction elite would definitely be a step forward, she decided.  
It occurred to Asuka that it would definitely be productive to her fanfiction career to send these people a message.   
  


* * *

  
Shinji was beginning to get tired. He had been exploring the ruins for a while now and there was absolutely no sign of life whatsoever. He was close to giving up hope when he spotted a flash of light ahead, somewhere in the maze-like ruins. A peal of thunder sounded seconds afterwards, almost like there was a tiny thunderstorm occurring.  
"I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away I mustn't run away I mustn't run away I mustn't run away I mustn't run away! Oh fuck it." Shinji turned to run as far away from whatever was happening as his wire-thin little legs would take him.   
Suddenly the crackles of thunder and flashes of light stopped. Perhaps it was safe to go there now, and besides, it was probably only Asuka trying out some new exercise machine.  
He began his slow and ponderous journey over the dangerous ruins once more. Several times he tripped and fell, and his perfectly coordinated outfit was becoming totally ruined. His stylishly gelled hair was messed up and soaked with sweat by the time he neared the area he had been heading for all this time. Panting and dirty, he stumbled through a decrepit archway to his destination.  
On the rocky floor lay a man. Not just any man, Shinji realised with shock and arousal. It was Shinji's favourite character from his favourite anime, clad in a garish orange jumpsuit. His massive muscles bulged and rippled disgustingly. Even his forehead and eyebrows were unrealistically muscular. His long spiky black hair cushioned the man's head as he sprawled there, unconscious.  
"G-Goku…" Shinji whispered shakily. He walked over to the unconscious, beautiful manbeast and stared at Goku adoringly.  
"Wow, this is the most absolutely fabulous thing ever!" Shinji remarked loudly. "Oh, I had better check to see if the poor dear is okay!"  
Shinji reached down to Goku's thick, muscular neck and felt for a pulse. With a shocked gasp, he realised that he could feel none.  
"Oh golly gosh!" Shinji panicked. "I had better do something!"  
He unbuttoned the top of Goku's jumpsuit, revealing the Saiyan's naked, sweaty body. Shinji straddled the huge man and began to try and resuscitate him.  
"One, two, three, four and-" Shinji attempted mouth-to-mouth. "Gosh darn it, this isn't working!"  
Shinji sat with his legs wrapped around Goku. He needed to get help, and quickly! But first there was something to take care of…  
Shinji unbuttoned his trousers and began to masturbate furiously over Goku's naked chest.  
"Oh Goku, you're _sooooo_ hot!" Shinji shouted. "Unf, unf! Ohh, I mustn't run away! I mustn't run away ! I… mustn't… run… OH YEAH!"  
After only a few mere seconds of angrily beating himself off, Shinji exploded. Gallons of thick, yoghurt-like liquid flew from his 21-inch throbbing member and all over Goku's bare chest and face.   
"Oh Goku, you were soooo good. I… Huh?"  
Goku began to convulse and shudder on the ground. Shinji jumped off and looked at the Saiyan who was spasming rhythmically, and had begun to make strange squealing noises. Shinji squealed like a girl and ran for his life.  
Goku threw himself around on the floor like a tortured moth. He gurgled loudly, and exploded.  
  


* * *

  
Shinji had just managed to avoid being caught in the blast. He looked skywards as the explosion unfolded, miles into the air. He gasped in terror as the flume of dust and colour began to take shape.  
"Oh… Deary me!" was all he managed to say.  
  


* * *

  
Asuka sat at the computer she had commandeered. She was now an official member of the Mafia de Fanfic, and was ready to cause hell for bad fanfic writers everywhere! She glanced at the page of rules that the Mafia de Fanfic had created for new members  
  


_1.) Always give other members good reviews. It does not do good for our image if the public sees discontent in our ranks.  
  
2.) Confer with other members and get the general consensus of everyone else before posting a flame. Our opinions on fanfiction must be united for this group to function correctly.  
  
3.) Bad fanfiction is easily discernable if the author does not take the subject matter seriously. This is especially true about any Gundam Wing Self-Insertion Fanfiction you find. If you see any non-serious fanfiction, you do not need to confer with the other members before posting a review.  
  
4.) Here is a review template for new members to use:   
UNNACCEPTABLE!!!!!!   
OMG HOW COULD U WRITE THIS FILTH OMG [Insert character name.] IT TOTALY OOC!! U SHOLD DELTE THIS FIC AND START AGAIN!!!1 [Insert character name.] WUDL NEVER [Insert event that you do not like.]!!! U R SUCK!! THANK THE HEAVENS THAT [Insert name of fandom.] FANFICTION HAS PEOPLE LIKE US TO MAKE SURE PEOPLE LIKE U DON'T GET AWAY WITH WHAT U R DOING!!!!!   
  
5.) Please feel free to disregard all rules when writing your own fanfiction.  
  
Thank you, and welcome to the Mafia de Fanfic! _
  
Asuka smiled grimly. She was an official fanfiction badass now, and there were millions of horrors awaiting her opinion on the Internet. She would have to start soon on this most important of tasks.  
A brilliant flash streamed in the window from outside, but it barely registered to Asuka. She was too busy reviewing to care.   
  


* * *

  
Rei and Gendo left Misato seated in a corner of Gendo's office. They had kindly left her a rather large bucket in case she needed to vomit again.  
Rei was standing beside Gendo as they looked out the window, surveying the ruins of Tokyo-3. The cloud of the huge explosion had taken on a definite shape now.   
"What does this mean? ;_;" Rei asked.  
"It could very well be the beginning of the end." He replied, solemnly.  
"You mean…"  
"Yes," Gendo replied gravely. "We are too late. Twelfth impact has occurred."  
The massive crucifix-shaped explosion towered menacingly over Tokyo-3. Husband and teenage-clone-of-wife/sex toy stood together and stared hopelessly at the ominous and very, very symbolic Christian icon.

**End of Chapter Two.**


	3. My Maidenly Purest Heart For You

_

My Maidenly Purest Heart For You/A Final, Final, Final End/Beginning/Middle/Transitory Period of Some Kind  
~~~~~

_

_Everything's painted in sepia colours in this office. Must be the cigarette smoke, staining the once-white walls. Not that I smoke any more, of course. Those things'll kill you.  
  
The window has a great view of this dirty little town. The snow falls, but that can't even cover the filth. This town... She's a bitch, but I love her. That's why I'm still here. Can't let go. Maybe if I clean up these dirty streets she'll go straight, but it's doubtful. Still, there's hope. There's always hope. Otherwise, why bother?_  
  
Captain Kaworu stared out that window, casting his gaze over the people below him when the call came. He picked up the old phone (it had been here since even before he'd inherited the office), and after a few moments murmured conversation, slammed it back into its cradle. He sat back and glared at the ceiling like it had personally called his mother a fat, stupid whore, and slammed his feet onto the desk. _Another day, another job..._   
  
The plastic window on his door clattered, a hand wearing more gold than could possibly be considered tasteful knocked urgently. "Captain Kaworu sah, dere's bin a murda! Captain Kaworu sah! Dey killed da mayor stone-cold dead!"  
  
The door flew open and Captain Kaworu, officer of the Law strode purposefully out, ignoring the figure beside him. The man began to protest but a single look from Kaworu's steely, shiny, massive and _oh-so-kawaii_ eyes silence him, and Kaworu walked off out of the building.   
  
_They called. Said that -BOTSCHAFTER- were finally on the move. Been so long, I almost forgot she existed. Hid herself out of the public eye, I guess. After so long, I wonder if she's still after the same thing. Of course she is. That thing, everyone who knows about it desires it above all else. She said she'd never rest until she holds it. Christine, and that damned Belldandy Keychain. A legend searching for a myth, it was too romantic to be true. She'll have to be stopped, and the only person who can clean up this mess is me, Kaworu Nagisa, protector of justice, true friendships and wuv._  
  
The car's engine roared into life, and Kaworu began his drive to Tokyo-3. If anything was going to happen, it'd happen there. It _always_ happened there.  


~~~ 

  
Sunny Tokyo-3, California. Devastated for the most part, ever since the last secret actions of the even-more-secret organisation -BOTSCHAFTER-, who secretly controlled both SEELE and NERV and countless other secret puppet organisations with Germanic names in capital letters. It was all very, very secret. Kaworu parked his car at the side of the road beside the signpost that marked that this wasteland used to be a city. He'd walk in through the ruins. It'd be a little more surreptitious that way. It'd been so long. Too long. He wondered if Shinji was still around, and what he'd say if he saw that Kaworu was still alive. Yeah, like a little decapitation would kill _him_.  
  
The Belldandy Keychain. The throne of the soul's little chain that flushes away the excrement known as pain and suffering when you pull it down, so to speak. It was hidden here, he knew it, and Christine must know it. Maybe in Lilith's egg, the Geofront. Only one person knew, and that person was the one that had hidden it there, that boy who could do no wrong, who could pilot an Eva with a 500% synch rate and not be dissolved. The one whom girls swooned over. The boy who could save the world or destroy it, if given the chance. That boy.  
  
The _Self-Insert_.  
  
The story had been set in motion, the mechanics of the plot turning, and not even the black thread of Fate tangling in the cogs could stop it. The relentless march of the plot could not be stopped by anything. Nobody could change that. The only chance was that summoning such a being as the Self-Insert could perhaps throw the plot's -**plausibility level**- enough to cause a different, but no less inevitable end. There was only one way to bring him to Tokyo-3, and such a way brought with it a hefty price. It would be a Tesco Value bargain compared to the end in store should Christine get her hands on that Keychain.   
  
Kaworu's path forced him to clamber up hill caused by a huge skyscraper that had fallen. As he climbed, he began to see what he knew he would dread: A huge crucifix explosion was unfolding. -BOTSCHAFTER-'s plan had already been put into motion, and it was now a race against time to steal away Christine's prize before she claimed it.


End file.
